Realizations

 He learned how to take care of himself; he had no choice. He relied on her for much more than he realized. Often in small ways and sometimes in difficult ones, he began to understand how much she did without complaint. He laughed a bit when he remembered asking for coffee. He had never made coffee himself; she always did that. The pot was an old percolator: you filled it with water, put coffee in the basket, and put it on the stove until it finished brewing. When it stopped making noise, it was ready. He remembers pouring out what looked like engine oil—thick and very black. He hadn't known not to fill the basket completely with coffee. Lesson learned.

He worked the same job at the factory for thirty years, and all those years she worked at home doing countless tasks he was ashamed to admit went unnoticed. She did nearly everything around the house, even things he should have done, insisting she could do them. He came home once to find her under the kitchen sink, arms deep in garbage, pipe wrench in hand, blaming him again for putting large pieces of food down the drain.

She was a wife, a homemaker, a bookkeeper, a gardener, and so much more, mostly unnoticed. Now, as he sits alone at the table where they had shared so many meals, he laughs softly, remembering how she always needed to be close to the oven. She would tell him to sit in the chair across from her, out of her way, in case she needed to move quickly, so her pie wouldn't burn. He's still sitting in that same chair he sat in for 30 years.

The house isn't like it was when she was here. Almost everything needed dusting, and the dog, whom she didn't like being inside, now rules the place, leaving muddy prints she would have put an end to. Just like he looked around the kitchen once, a picture of organization is now a game of hide-and-seek to find the coffee creamer. He isnt a total slob, he's just not as particular as she was.

He missed her in so many ways, and the emptiness inside is more than he can bear, but he keeps moving forward shed want that for him. He does believe, however, that even though they discussed it a hundred times, he knew in his heart she didn't want him to start dating when she was gone. He laughed at remembering that, then laughed some more, picturing himself going to Bingo at the senior center.

He was sad but also content living in their house, even when dust took over. He perfected his coffee-making and washed the sink full of dirty dishes, careful not to clog the drain. He sat in his assigned chair in the kitchen and thought about the life they shared in the same house, with the same memories that consume him with a loneliness he fights every day to live with. No one is truly prepared for losing someone who held your heart in their hands for decades. But we are prepared and ready to leave the dust behind us, knowing that when they meet again, she's going to have plenty to say about her clean house. He laughed a little, saying, " You got that right.

Mike 2026