The heat was showing off, holding back the rain for too long. We need a good soaker, he told the air. Yep, a soaker. He lived alone in a small cottage on his land, the place he was born and would undoubtedly die. He didn't have any of that air conditioning people talked about in town, just box fans that, in his humble opinion, just blew hot air around. Heat was nothing new for a farmer back in his day. No air-conditioned combines or fancy tractors, just a straw hat and a bandana that soaked up some sweat. I suppose you could say he had a farmer's tan, with brown arms and face and bright white on the rest of his body.
He must have dozed off until a clap of thunder so loud he jumped out of his chair and looked to see if the army was in his yard. Then a bolt of bright lightning pierced right through the old oak tree just feet away from him. Flames were burning the tree from the inside out, and he knew if he didn't do something, the massive tree could come crashing down on his cottage and him. He ran naked to the barn where an old fire truck pumper had been sitting covered up until the Fourth of July parade. He kept the water tank full for reasons unknown until that moment. He fired it up and drove the few hundred feet to the burning tree where he manned the hose and let the water flow. It didn't take him long to douse the flames, but little did he know that a news van had been going down the road and had seen the whole thing in real time.
Flashbulbs nearly blinded him as a reporter asked him questions, and he waved them away and off his land, telling them there was nothing to see. Well, that wasn't all the truth because the next day's hometown news showed him buck ass naked manning the old fire pump, with the caption reading No more farmers tan for naked farmer. Life went on as he had his fifteen minutes of fame, but the news faded away, replaced with stories of missing livestock, kids playing tip the cow, just the normal goings-on in the life of a farmer. People do stop by every once in a while to see firsthand the scorched tree with a burned-out section where the lightning hit. He didn't mind their curiosity, but he hated the fact that he couldn't sit naked on his porch anymore in that darn heat.
He must have dozed off until a clap of thunder so loud he jumped out of his chair and looked to see if the army was in his yard. Then a bolt of bright lightning pierced right through the old oak tree just feet away from him. Flames were burning the tree from the inside out, and he knew if he didn't do something, the massive tree could come crashing down on his cottage and him. He ran naked to the barn where an old fire truck pumper had been sitting covered up until the Fourth of July parade. He kept the water tank full for reasons unknown until that moment. He fired it up and drove the few hundred feet to the burning tree where he manned the hose and let the water flow. It didn't take him long to douse the flames, but little did he know that a news van had been going down the road and had seen the whole thing in real time.
Flashbulbs nearly blinded him as a reporter asked him questions, and he waved them away and off his land, telling them there was nothing to see. Well, that wasn't all the truth because the next day's hometown news showed him buck ass naked manning the old fire pump, with the caption reading No more farmers tan for naked farmer. Life went on as he had his fifteen minutes of fame, but the news faded away, replaced with stories of missing livestock, kids playing tip the cow, just the normal goings-on in the life of a farmer. People do stop by every once in a while to see firsthand the scorched tree with a burned-out section where the lightning hit. He didn't mind their curiosity, but he hated the fact that he couldn't sit naked on his porch anymore in that darn heat.
Mike 2026
Mike 2026
