Bucket list undone

 I'll never get to live in a hollow surrounded by ancient mountains. I'll never be self-sufficient and grow a vegetable garden. I'll never know the voices of the forests as they beckon me into the thickness of the woods and the sounds of branches breaking as I'm watched. 

I won't live in a cabin I built myself or shoot a deer for food. Time has caught up to me, and it's okay because I've lived a whole life, one I wouldn't change—well, maybe some things. I would be more caring for others and not hold back my feelings. I would have been more willing to make new friends and venture outside of my four walls. I would have found a way to express myself in words people wanted to read instead of decorating my office walls with rejection letters.

I would have tried harder with the mother of my children and made a go of it instead of running at the first signs of trouble. I would have saved money rather than being everybody's friend at the bar, as I picked up too many tabs. I would have said no to the cocaine and other devil's concoctions I so willingly partook in. Until one day long in the tooth, I did realize it. I quit the drugs, the booze, and too many women to even count who meant nothing to me. I changed and lost my so-called friends who did not want to know me anymore after the party ended for me. I'm not saying I found Jeaus because I never lost him. I'm saying I woke up to the fact that all life is short-lived, and we have to decide what's best for us to pass down to our children's children. So, knowing what I do now, my bucket list will go undone with a tear or two. But I will try to fulfill that list through my writing. Sharing my stories of part truth, part fiction, and a dash of creativity. I suppose doing that is a piece of my bucket list that I can fulfill.

Mike 2024