Time awakened

   There are times when I travel so far back into my memories; I doubt the reality of it. People and places seem so alive as if standing in front of me, yet so many have passed decades ago.

   The smells and the feeling of winters cold on my skin leave me touching my face. Smelling the air, I labor to breathe in the scent of a homemade meal waiting for me in the warmth of our house or the slightest whisper of her favorite perfume that I try and hold onto because her memory will fade once more after its gone.

   It is as if I am truly living those moments over again as if I was there right now at this very moment in time. Could it be possible that I am back in time, somehow sent or called to be there? Could those souls that have passed on somehow beckoned me to fill the same emptiness that they feel?

   I have always thought that I have a gift of memory, and I'm able to reach deep inside, a place that most can never reach. A gift? Maybe. A curse? I'm not certain. What is crystal clear is I travel back to people I love and assure them and myself that my journey has a meaning, a door to be unlocked.

   I have on more than one occasion woke from what I thought to be a dream and found myself catching the very faint smell of her favorite perfume. I hold onto it until all I can sense is how it use to be. Or I will close my eyes and try to bring her back, but the volume of emptiness tells me she's gone

   Somewhere in my memories is a long treelined street with houses I remember growing up. The air is crisp and the quite overwhelming. A figure of a young lady stands at the far end of this road. All I can see is something like a shadow, and she's waving to me. I try to walk faster, but as I do, she goes further away. My conscious memory tells me, I'm, not ready for that encounter yet.

   I can't explain all of this, nor do I pretend I can. I accept it as it’s a part of who I am and for now that’s good enough for me.


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