He sat on the front porch, drifting somewhere but nowhere in particular. He did that a lot more frequently these days since she passed on to a place she believed in. For years, she tried to get him to join her for Sunday service, but he always came up with an excuse of one sort or another. He could see her in a Sunday dress, her hair neatly combed, and the bible in her hand that she was never too far away from. He buried it with her because she told him to, and he wasn't one to tell her otherwise.
The night air had a bite to it, so he went inside but wished he hadn't because all it did was remind him of her everywhere he looked. He roamed around from one room to another, seeing her sewing bag in a corner where she sat for hours making a blanket for a grandchild or a hat for him that he wore when it got cold enough, even if he felt a little silly in it with its five different colors.
He went into their bedroom, where everything was just the way she had it. He remembered so many times he'd sit on the edge of the bed, her reading, but put down the book to listen to him about one thing or another. They never solved any world problems, but they worked through many things in their world.
He hasn't slept in there since she passed. He couldn't lie there without her by his side, but when missing her got bad, he'd go in and sit at her dressing table, hold onto her perfume bottles, smell her hair in the brush, look into her mirror, and wonder why she had to go first.
When he closed his eyes, he saw her as plain as day, and they were dancing all around the living room to her favorite song, not a care in the world.
He didn't realize just how much he missed her, but the pain was real, and he doubted it would ever heal. He went through the motions of everyday life, going to the places they would go, each bringing a tear he didn't wipe away.
He grew older than he should have from eating his cooking, and not a second passed that he didn't miss hers. He supposed she was looking down at him, getting a few laughs at his culinary talents.
Three years was all he had left before he got called to be by her side again as his broken heart healed. Maybe she mended it with five different colors.
Mike 2024