Heaven

 One day, the sky will open and lead me to the brightness of the heavens. A weightless cloud will be where I'll sit, and all those I love will greet me. Family, friends, and even pets will surround me with feelings I can only describe as the ultimate love. Everything I ever felt will be replaced with angelic smiles and eternal peace, leaving my time on earth a forgotten memory. I will meet God and finally have answers to so many unanswered questions. He will speak softly in a language never heard but understood. I asked for his forgiveness, and he smiled, saying I had already been forgiven the second my soul left my body. So here I am, floating on a cloud that sometimes takes me to the ocean's depths or into the endless universe where time has no meaning and tomorrow is always promised. I have finally come home.

Mike 2024                                 

             

One thought

 Sometimes, I can't dig deep enough inside myself to express what I'm feeling. Even though I sense something trying to be released, it flies away and seems doubtful about ever returning. A single thought could be the building block of a story told or a song written. Thoughts come and go, but occasionally, one hangs around until put to use with the stroke of a pen, turning a blank piece of paper into something magical. A single thought could begin from a memory that awakens our mind and heart and allows us to expand on it until the story has been written. Most don't realize anyone can be a storyteller if they capture just one thought and begin writing.

Mike 2024                                             

   

 The years sweep past me as I try to remember time gone by. After many decades and a mind that has worked overtime, I sometimes find myself lost in a memory so vivid that I feel I am a part of it. I hear the music and sounds of the county fair as my shoes kick up dust while I run from one ride to the next. I see my parents waving as I pass by on the carousel horse I called Blaze. I bet they can't believe how quickly time has passed, either. My mom holds my hand, and the softness of hers has always been a comfort to me as a child. I remember sitting with her as she prepared for her final journey home, holding her hand in mine one last time.

My vivid memories also find me deep into the forest, where the sounds and smells always comfort me. I spent many years in those woods playing games like hide and seek and a place where wars were fought with sticks as guns and crudely crafted bows and arrows were our only defense. Then, there was the old lady who lived deep in the forest, making homemade chocolates she sold in town. We knew she had to be a witch who cooked children in a giant cauldron over a fire. In my memory, I find myself with my buddies, peeking in her window. Our hearts are pounding like mine is now reliving another memory of my past.

The closer I get to leaving this life, the more blessed I feel to have had this amazing ability to recall even the smallest of moments and to be a part of them one more time.

Mike 2024

Shadows

 We look at the same moon and stars even though we are miles apart. I look for notes inside bottles as I walk the sandy beaches, hoping to find a note from you, but all I see are shells and colored glass. I've shouted your name from rooftops but hear only my own. Where did you go, and why can't I find you? My mind has lost its edge; my vision has faded over time. And if I pass you on the street, will I see you? Soon, the darkness will engulf me, and all I'll see is shadows hovering around me. I am not afraid of the darkness; I'm just afraid that one shadow will be you that I can't see.

Mike 2024                                    

Going Home

 The sun was setting, and the noises of the city were almost bearable. He knew there were stars in the sky, but seeing them was rare as the pollution was constant. He closed the blinds, tried to fall asleep, and dreamed of her walking in a hay field, her summer dress blowing in the breeze, and her smile as big as the outdoors. He kept a small bottle of her perfume on the nightstand, keeping the stopper off so it would reach him and bring back the memory of her scent. But there were times his grief overwhelmed him, and he put the stopper back into the bottle, saying maybe another night.

After she passed, he took a job in the city, but it wasn't home for him. The people were running around and into each other like rats penned up in a small cage. Blank faces that forgot how to smile and hats that seldom got tipped to a lady. This wasn't the kind of life he wanted to be a part of, so he packed his things and whispered to her he was coming home. It was a long bus ride that welcomed him with fresh air coming through the windows and familiar smells of pine and red clay.

He tipped his hat to the lady driver and began the slow walk up the dirt road to the small cottage they had built together many years ago. He saw everything clearly as if it were yesterday as she hung out clothes to dry and tried to catch a chicken while he watched from a distance, holding onto his bag, knowing it wasn't real. He left after she was gone, thinking this place would never dry his tears, but he was wrong. Tears heal, and good memories take over. This is where she is in spirit, and he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He was home.

mike 2024

The Box

 He was cleaning the garage, something he'd wanted to do for a long time, when he came across a dusty box on a top shelf. What do we have here? He asked himself. He carefully got it down on level ground and looked at it while he caught his breath. There were stickers from various locations he must have gone to when he was young, like a circus sticker and some from the zoo. There were a lot of stickers from national parks and tourist traps like the giant ice cream cone in Michigan, and that big ball of string people talked about. There was crime tape wrapped around the box. I didn't want anyone peeking, he mumbled. He got the pocket knife his dad gave him out of his pocket and slowly cut the tape to look inside.

There were several things wrapped in newspaper, including his train collection, which he had gotten for Christmas when he was eight years old. Wow, he said out loud. It looks brand new after hiding away for over sixty-five years. The next thing he found was an old tin pencil box with some number two pencils, all sharpened and ready to write. The tin box had Mickey Mouse stickers all over it, bringing a smile to his weathered face. His memories were overloaded as he took item after item out of the old box, each bringing him back to his youth. His baseball glove, A Tonka toy truck that brought him hours of fun digging up the backyard, to his mom's dislike. A burlap bag filled with his marble collection and a blue yo-yo. There were ten green plastic army soldiers and the book Moby Dick. Lastly, his stuffed monkey was just a toy, of course, that went everywhere with him, especially to bed. He learned later in life his mom tried to substitute it for a new one that almost looked identical, but he wouldn't be fooled and gave it back to her. She barely caught the garbage truck to retrieve his best friend. The sun was setting as he put everything back in the box, headed for the house carrying the book Moby Dick and playing walk the dog with his yo-yo.

Mike 2024

Reminders

 A metal teapot sits on the railing of the old farmhouse. She used to put wildflowers in it, but now it sits empty, in mirky water, another reminder of her. The clothesline where she'd hang the laundry every day and hum her favorite song is quiet and empty now, still another reminder. I close my eyes and see her rocking in her chair next to me, but now hers sits quietly until a breeze tips it ever so slightly, and for that brief moment, she's here with me with yet another reminder. One less plate at the table, one less kiss goodnight, and hundreds of just-because hugs are all I have to remember now, with endless reminders of her and me and the life we built from love.

Mike 2024

In my dreams

 In my dreams, I'm young again. I don't wince when I pass a mirror or stand on a scale. I can shave without fear of a Shakey hand. I could eat cardboard if it were put in front of me. Being young and in love wasn't always real; it was more of a test group searching for the perfect one. She wasn't always the prettiest or had the best shape, but she was the only one that sent shivers down my spine and made my heart skip a beat. She was innocent, as was I, and we discovered that sex was more than just that. It was making love with a passion that words could never fully explain. When I awakened from my dream, I'd grown older faster than I expected, but lying beside me was the woman who made my heart skip a beat and gave me shivers as I looked in the mirror and smiled, counting my blessings.

Mike 2024                       

Dusty road

 She sat alone at the kitchen table, which had always been her favorite place to watch out the window and see his truck coming up the dusty road. The table was set, and a stew was simmering. It was his favorite. When she heard the screen door squeak, she would get up, greet him with a kiss on his weathered face, and ask how his day was. He shrugged and said it was better now. He wasn't a man of many words, but his actions spoke volumes. He helped with the dishes, something he did after every meal, and she quit telling him he didn't have to do that. They had been together for too many years to remember, but he never forgot one anniversary, sending her favorite flowers from the florist whose son now runs things. There's is not a perfect marriage, but it withstood the hands of time until time ran out. She still sits at the kitchen window waiting for him to come up the dusty road, but she knows she will be eating alone now and doing the dishes, whispering you don't have to do this.

Mike 2024

 

He was a tall and lanky man with a great imagination. He loved life, booze, women, and the circus. He was born into the big top by a mother who walked the tightrope and a father who led the band. His youth was one every boy in America envied, running wild around the performers and giving the elephants peanuts. He learned to cheat at cards and use his boyish charm to sell tickets. Time passed, and his parents left each other and the circus behind. But it was in his blood, and he knew someday he'd be a part of it again. After many meaningless jobs, he saw an ad in the want ads that someone was selling a 1940 circus wagon converted into something we call a food truck today. It needed a lot of attention, but he was good with his hands, and a short time later, his hard work paid off, and he unveiled the Little Red Wagon. He offered cotton candy and candy apples, popcorn, hamburgers, hot dogs, and, if I recall, the best French fries anywhere.

He began following county fairs, amusement parks, and any event he could find along his journey. I was fifteen when he let me go with him during summer break. He taught me how to do everything, including driving the wagon when he was hung over, which was quite often. That summer, I felt the cry of the circus life and vowed to be a part of it someday. Little did I expect my uncle would pass on to the big top in the sky soon after my eighteenth birthday, willing me the little red wagon.

I began that chapter in my book of life traveling with the county fairs and other venues, bringing cotton candy smiles, burgers, popcorn, and the best French fries in America.

I've been told I look like him, tall and lanky with a taste for women and booze. It's in my blood, and that's okay with me, maybe because it was okay with him, but more importantly, we were part of the greatest show on earth, living the dream of circus life and doing it together.

Mike 2024

By choice

 He used to be outgoing and always had a smile to give. How is it that one day, he just took himself out of the life he had lived for so long and became tethered to his house? He didn't let time matter anymore as he began to shrink to nothing more than an old man with little purpose or meaning. He went through the motions, putting on a half-smile when he spoke to a loved one, always avoiding the questions that bothered them more than they did him. He chose to be alone to shut out the world that had disappointed him with the never-ending quest for power. Some would say there's a lot of good in the world, and he agreed with that, but in his day, you never had to go looking for it. He was a faithful man who prayed and asked forgiveness from a confusing God. He re-lived memories through photo albums and music, returning to carefree days he hoped would never end, but they did. All his questions will be answered one day, and the light will cut through the darkness. Until then, he's okay with his simple life and his memories no one can ever take away.

Mike 2024

Snow globes

 I sat alone in my father's house. He passed away a week ago. As I looked around at his possessions, I remembered back when I was young, going to garage sales and auctions, not to mention countless thrift stores and bargain basements, in search of that one item he had to have. Today, he said we were on the hunt for snow globes. That won't be easy, I said to myself. He already had over fifty or so on a shelf I'm staring at and remembering. He tended to yell BINGO when he discovered something he liked, and it was time to deal. I felt bad for the vendors at flea markets because Dad would say they expect you to offer a low figure so they could play the game of negotiating. He usually got what he wanted at the price he knew he'd pay.

As I look around, most of his stuff is just that stuff. It meant something to him, and I know he took pride in showing it off. There were Sunday dinners where he would get up from the table to go get something he had just acquired and bring it to the table to explain its value to him. I mean, who wouldn't want a stained bone saw sitting next to the mashed potatoes?

He was one of the most talented men I know. He published three books and wrote greeting cards for a well-known company. Over the years, he composed song lyrics and had a blog with over seven hundred posts. But to me, he was my dad, the stuff collector. He was a little outside the box, but that was fine with me. He was happy with his life and loved his family above all else. 

I picked up the box I filled with things I knew he cherished, leaving the rest for other family members to sort through before donating the rest to thrift stores, flea markets, and every place he loved to go. I imagine most of it went right back to where he bought it. Ironic, isn't it?

I put the box in my truck, careful not to break any of the fifty-two snow globes I knew he wanted me to have. Where in the hell am I going to put them?

Mike 2024

Discovery

 I kept an eye out as she discovered the forest for the first time. Not too far, I shouted as she danced in the tall grass. She was singing a song I didn't recognize; it was soft and meaningful to her. I caught up, and she handed me some wildflowers she had just picked, telling me it was the scent of her grandmother and I should remember it. She moved through the forest as if she knew every path, cliff, cave, and lookout point, where you can see for miles. We sat on a fallen tree and had a sandwich in silence. Today was her day of discovery; if she chose to share with me, she would. I had never seen her so happy here with her ancestors who hunted this land and now rest beneath it. She broke her silence and softly asked me if I believed the spirits were all around her, watching and protecting her. I told her this is sacred ground and that she was always welcome as long as she showed the respect our elders demanded. Over the years, we had many walks into the forests where she seemed happy to be among the trees and the animals who grew to recognize her walk, her scent, and the softness of her songs learned so many seasons before.

Mike  2024

Squeeks and apple pie

 I closed my eyes as a soft breeze kissed me, and the setting sun gave up its heat, making way for a star-filled night. The clothes are dry on the line where they hang, maybe until tomorrow. I count the times the rocking chair creaks but lose interest as the smell of apple pie fills my senses, and I hear milk being poured into a tall glass. The day is coming to a close as I slowly get up and go inside, the door squeaking as it closes behind me. I've got to fix that one day but probably won't, as it's as much a part of this house as we are. She smiles as I sit down and take a bite of pure heaven washed down with some ice-cold milk and a feeling of complete happiness.

Mike  2024

single candle

 A single candle lights the room, casting shadows that dance for me. Silence is everywhere except for the crinkling of dripping wax and an occasional bird passing by.

My eyes strain as my words finds the empty pages, and thoughts arise to be heard. The shadows dance faster as my pen has no boundaries, as sentences are formed, waiting to be seen, read, and understood.

Dusk finds the candle burned out and my face on my desk. I wipe away the sand from my weary eyes and pick up where I left off as the darkness nears. With a fresh candle beside me, my thoughts come alive.

Mike 2024

Spring

 The first buds of spring, new beginnings, new life, come back to us. Blades of grass and bubbling brooks, tiny voices in nests waking hungry as mothers everywhere search the woods for food. Once buried beneath a blanket of white, dead leaves rest deep into the earth and are replaced with soft grass and meadows where wildflowers introduce themselves. Spring is an awakening from a long winter's nap, ready to display all its splendor in the blink of an eye, a breath of fragrant air, and a vision of all that is beautiful.

Mike  2024

Lost in time

 He fights daily to remember as his thoughts are held captive, and his world goes silent and fades. He says his prayers every night, lying in a bed he shared for so many years, and all he has left of it is a cloudy image and distant scent that seems to surround her picture on the nightstand. He doesn't regret his life. It was complete and held meaning until it didn't. He looks in the mirror and laughs at the vision he sees, wondering who this ancient being staring back at him is. Surely not him. The faucet drips as he holds a razor, preparing to shave as he did every day back then. But he shuts the water off and puts the razor down, asking himself who he was trying to impress. Who would see his freshly shaven face with patches of missed strokes and tiny pieces of toilet tissue to soak up the blood? Just him? Today and every day, he looks through photo albums, trying to put names to faces and places he has traveled with her. Some draw a blank as he turns another page and finds the empty white spaces a reminder that like pictures life has an ending that even memories can't find.

Mike 2024

Alone

 He lay in bed for a minute or two, letting his blood flow and wiping away the remnants of nightmares. Then, like he had for more years than he could remember, he said good morning to the spot on the ceiling. Sunlight squeezed in between the spaces on the blinds as the darkness faded and daylight took center stage. He doesn't smell coffee brewing or bacon sizzling until he gets up and goes through the motions like he has since she passed some thirteen years ago. His is a quiet life now with only memories to talk to and visions almost completely faded. His family and friends wait for him leaving him to question if this is a cruel joke to see who lasted the longest. It's a game he doesn't want to play.

Mike  2024

The circus

 As a young boy, he would count the days until the circus came to town. He got up before the sun on that hot July morning and finished his chores, yelling for his best friend to hurry up as he flew past his house. They didn't want to be late for the parade. Together, they rode their bicycles down the dirt road to the huge empty lot where the circus would set up for one fantastic week. In the distance, they heard the circus music and an occasional blast from the elephants as they led the parade towards the empty lot. Both boys climbed a tree and sat on a sturdy branch, giving them front-row seats to the greatest show on earth.

One by one, the circus people passed by the boys, some waving as they passed. There were colorful wagons and a marching band, rolling cages that held the tigers, and a bunch of clowns in a tiny car. The boys were in awe as everything that was a circus passed in front of them. The trapeze artists and a guy who got shot out of a cannon sitting on the cannon and coming within feet from the boys. Hello, fellas he said and threw them each a ticket for free admission. Paper gold, they said to each other.

That night, the boys arrived with their free tickets and quickly found a great seat in the Big Top, anxious for the show to begin. Then it became quiet as the lights went on, and all the performers walked out to the main ring to the applause of everyone. It was an amazing night and one that would stay with the boys for a lifetime.

Many decades had passed since those boys saw Big Top until the day they saw a poster saying the circus was coming to town. They took the truck this time, as those bicycles had rusted away years ago. They parked under that same tree but weren't going to risk a broken hip by climbing it. Then, they heard the music and the blast of the elephants as they passed them by on their way to the lot. There were no free tickets this time, but both still had the ones given to them by the man on the cannon. That night, they watched the show with all its beauty and pageantry, realizing once again it was the greatest show on earth.

Mike 2024

Amusement rides of old

 You said, " Ahoy, mate, " waving to your mom and dad as you passed them again on the carnival boat ride. To your parents' delight, you rang the small bell as loud as you could as Dad snapped pictures for posterity's sake.

                                             AMUSEMENT PARKS OF OLD

Miniature versions were called amusement parks long before Disney Land or Disney World. Most were owned by individuals who built these parks on their land, making the various rides in the barns and sheds on their property. Later, I realized how much love and time were put into these places. That was evident as you saw the owner walking around his dream, smiling and waving to the children as they rode one ride and hurried to the next. He was usually the man in coveralls stained with grease, making a clanking sound as one tool on his belt hit another. He'd go from ride to ride, tightening a loose bolt or greasing the wheels of a kiddy ride, stopping along the way to hand out a free ride ticket to some deserving child. 

In the winter months, he could be found in the barn putting on fresh coats of all colors on the rides, which were now disassembled, until he completed every task required to keep them looking and running right.

The biggest challenge was time. He opened in April and closed in October, giving him six months to do everything required, and for opening day, that always meant dozens of families rushing to get in and on their favorite rides. A few vendors came in the Spring, such as the hotdog man and cotton candy lady. There was one attraction everybody liked called the dunking tank. You were sure to spend the rest of your day soaking wet if someone threw the ball at the target and hit it, sending you down into the water. These small amusement parks were what childhood memories were made from, and to this day, some seventy years later, I still light up when I see one still in operation. Let's face it: who wouldn't want to steer through the twists and turns of a mighty river in your favorite boat that you couldn't even fit into now?

Mike 2024     

Summer days

 I only know what I will write once I stare at a blank page and kick-start my memory bank. Maybe it will be something funny or dead serious. Maybe it will take me back in time to my youth and the countless things I remember. I never panic because something will pop into my head in a few minutes, and I'm off to the races.

                                              SUMMER DAYS

It's another beautiful day in the life of an eight-year-old. School is out for the summer, and moms everywhere hold their breath and swing into action. Play dates, trips to the beach, lemonade stands, and sleepovers in a backyard tent: Sunscreen, mosquito repellant, and plenty of band aids all in a day's work for mom. And just when you thought your day was complete, your dad brought home a backyard swimming pool that took him and two uncles an entire day to put together and another day for it to be filled with water from the hose. Finally, the day came, and you and your siblings were swimming and playing endless games of MARCO-POLO, two words you still can't get out of your mind. Naturally, you were the most popular kid in the neighborhood as your friends peered through the fence holding goggles and towels, waiting for your mom to say it was ok for them to join you.

Summer days and swimming pools were meant to be together. Once in a while, Dad would turn on the lights he installed to light up the pool, and he and Mom would have a late-night swim, talking softly and laughing, thinking we were fast asleep, but we weren't. I'm glad they had those times alone in that backyard pool.

At the end of summer, Dad would drain most of the water, leaving just enough to keep it from blowing apart during bad winter storms. The pool waited for us to return year after year. Late spring meant removing the cover and filling it with water from the hose again, to everyone's delight. Years passed, and the old pool began to show signs of decay, and Dad patched more than he was swimming. I was fifteen when my dad and two uncles took the pool down, leaving a perfect circle on the grass. I went to college a few years later but returned home whenever possible. Sitting on the back porch, I saw remnants of that circle and remembered those endless summers and our little piece of heaven.

Mike 2024

Flagpole man

 His workshop was a place of memories he developed over fifty-plus years. He learned to love wood and discovered early on that he could turn nothing into something. He made baby cradles, playpens, mailboxes, and hand-crafted tables and chairs. But the one simple thing he enjoyed making was flag poles. He was known as the flagpole man, and people came from far away to purchase a one-of-a-kind finished product made especially for them. He catered more to veterans and their families, who gave him the information he needed to create their particular pole. Many nights, he could be found sanding and cutting, staining and grinding as he made another pole.

Some had the name of a fallen soldier and the date. For some, he carved a soldier's company name or the name of a Navy ship. He met with or called on the families, asking questions about their loved ones to get some perspective on their lives, which he would carefully incorporate into every pole. The most important part to him was carving the name and time in service with a woodburning tool, a slow but fulfilling task. Each pole was topped off with a wooden eagle that he painstakingly carved by hand with the same tools his father used decades ago. When his customers came to pick up their poles, many tears flowed, and hugs were given as just saying thank you didn't seem enough. Today is Independence Day, and all through the country, his poles will secure the flags that honor our nation with pride and respect. That is more than he could have ever hoped for as he looks outside at his flag flying in the summer breeze.

Mike 2024

Crack a smile

 He mostly sits and watches now as childhood memories are made. Back in the day, he'd be front and center, playing games and telling stories. He never missed a cookout or school play and was always available to listen. But he grew silent along the way, and his steps were more of a shuffle. It was as if he gave all he could to this life and somewhat patiently awaited the next. I watched him crack a little smile as one of the kids made a face at him, but it didn't last long. What was going on inside of him? Was he at peace, was he frightened, or was he just waiting?

This old, frail man with a hundred lines on his weathered face was my teacher, counselor, and best friend. Sometimes, I catch him looking at me deep into my soul as he cracks a little smile as if to say I'll see you on the other side, my friend.

Mike 2024